I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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