Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
