She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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