We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
