I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
