is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
