pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
