I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
