How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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