Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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