and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
