i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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