So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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