this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
