The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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