I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
