no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
