i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize