Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
