you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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