Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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