Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
