C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
