Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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