awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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