k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
