do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
