I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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