a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
