He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
