Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
