Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
