He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
