We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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