I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
