It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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