your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
