You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
