I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
