Welp...herpes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
