He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
