i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
