you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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