I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize