so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
