New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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