he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
