i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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