The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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