so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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