thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
