so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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