Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
