You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
