kristin has been a bad kristin
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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