ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize