So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
