i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
