So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
