Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
