Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
