in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
