The maid of honor just puked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
