he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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